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photo credit: XirannisX en Off
If you don’t think we’re all vulnerable to anxiety at one time or another in our lives, then let me share a recent story from my life with you. It can go to show you just how much we have the power to control anxiety, no matter how out of control events can seem.
Just the other day, I was in court because I was subpoenaed to be a character witness in a child custody case involving a previous client of mine. My role: to say whether or not my client would be the best parent for the couple’s child. Talk about a pressure-filled responsibility and a great time to know how to control anxiety.
My credibility as a therapist could be questioned–and probably would be by the other side’s attorney. “What gave me the right to decide the fate of a child?” I kept thinking to myself. Needless to say, I was incredibly nervous. Yes, even I can get nervous, believe it or not.
Before I had to take the stand, I text-messaged my friend the word “vomit,” and for good reason. Maybe it could have made me felt better. At the moment, I wished I really could have released a little tension and freed some of the butterflies. My stomach was in knots, sweat was beaded on my forehead, worst-case scenarios were running through my mind–I was displaying all of the usual physical symptoms of anxiety.
Again, for good reason! The emotions in the entire courthouse were running high. A woman was sitting on a bench with bloodshot eyes, visibly in pain. Type-A, high-strung men in dark-blue suits with stress bags under their eyes met in small packs, glaring at me out of the corner of their eyes. From one such meeting, I overheard one of them say, “The best we can do is 5 years probation, $5000 fine and 4 months community service.”
Meanwhile, my client paced up and down the hall. And to top it off, like in some movie, there was a crying baby down the hall “The court is no place for a baby,” I couldn’t help but think. Just to think about it now gets my heart rate up. But it also brings me to my point of my post today: No matter what your cause of anxiety, you can control anxiety.
My anxiety in the courtroom came from a triggering event: bearing the weight of that responsibility and stage fright in the courtroom.
No matter where your anxiety comes from, it is all the same when it comes to treatment. For me, I applied techniques like “thought-stopping,” “redirecting,” and “reframing” to control the anxiety and change my emotions. Redirecting myself particularly worked well. For instance, I took a walk, removed myself from the scene for a moment to get a drink. I called my mom (though the topic of discussion, Hillary’s speech at the DNC, wasn’t the best!). I wrote in my journal (about writing this post). I called friends. And I diverted my mind was reading (my latest book: “Blink.”).
When you feel like anxiety has the best of you, reminder yourself it DOESN’T. Â What will you do the next time you feel like you’re being taken over by your negative emotions, like anxiety?
photo credit: Menage a Moi
The other evening when my girls and I were out walking we came close to the playground and I noticed a girl, about 10 years old, who was swinging as fast, as hard, and as passionately as she could. From my vantage point, behind her, I could see how she thrust her legs out as she swung up and then tucked them hard under her as she swung back. Thrust up, tuck back, thrust up, tuck back. She moved with such strength and energy that you almost felt that she’d just had a huge argument with her playmate and was blowing off some steam.
I remember those days; how about you? Even now I wish we could all blow off steam like that when we find ourselves in sticky spots but since most of our cubicles, offices, and homes don’t come with a handy swing set ready and waiting, we have to find other ways to get rid of any extra harmful energy we carry. Here are my favorite ways to do this: >> More..
