I had my Flip Video handy at a cookout with friends recently, and captured a discussion on how men are responsible for their wive’s emotional problems. Yes, you heard right… men are responsible (so he says, jokingly, of course). Watch the video:
Are Men Really Responsible?
No, silly… but you already know that! You don’t have to listen to country music to know that relationships ain’t easy. Having success in them can almost seem like a game of chance. After all, experts will tell you that any one marriage has but a 50-50 chance of success. That’s a scary way of looking at things–and completely wrong. There are ways you can keep your relationships strong no matter what comes at you. One surefire way is to make sure that your relationship “bank account” is always in the black. It’s not too hard to imagine your relationship with your spouse–or anybody else in your life–as a relationship bank account. What are you “investing” in this bank account? Your emotions, your attentions, your affections, your kindness.
Sometimes you could have relationships that are in the red, in arrears even! But if your relationship account is in the black, that means you could have a “debit” and still remain in the clear–still in the black.
Not sure still what the black and the red mean?
You probably have already felt what I mean with these relationship bank accounts with the various people you have relationships with. When you are in the black, you feel comfortable around them, can feel their warmth when they see you, and have no tension between you. But when you are in the red, you might not feel trust or trusted, or you might feel like the other person is misreading your words, or perhaps you are looking too much into theirs.
Let’s use that example of a marriage again for another illustration of a relationship bank account. When you are in the black in a marriage, you have an overflowing emotional, sexual, and spiritual connection to your partner. You feel loved and respected, and you are making sure your partner feels the same way. If this is the case, you two will be able to weather a crisis without your relationship being torn asunder. We’re talking a major crisis, like a death in the family, a financial blowup, or a serious sickness, but a “crisis” could also be those everyday varieties that pop up, like missing your partner’s birthday because of a business trip. Or how about if you’ve been spending more time lately with your friends than your spouse? In a healthy relationship–one in the black–these situations might prompt a conversation, but things will be worked out and that relationship bank account will still have a nice balance in it at the end of the day. But in an unhealthy relationship in the red, even the little incidents can trigger what seems like the end. You and your spouse will argue, stop talking, feel frustrated in each other’s presence. The couch might become one of your beds.
Feelings of being taken for granted, of being disrespected, can lead to broken hearts and lost love. And I’m not even talking about a real crisis, like a death or illness.
So, how’s your relationship bank account?
Feeling a little low? Nervous to check your balance? Don’t be. One simple way to turn your relationship bank account in good order is to start first with your own account. Are you personally running on empty, feeling emotionally in the red? Build yourself back to emotional health, and your personal bank account will overflow into your relationship bank accounts. After all, if you feel like you don’t have time for yourself and your own happiness, how will you tend to your spouse’s happiness? Give yourself a little love, and you’ll have more than enough to spare for others.
October 27th, 2008 at 3:06 pm
How did you know I needed to read this today? We had a small crisis last night, and after worrying about it and writing about it, I finally feel better. So thanks. =)
October 28th, 2008 at 8:43 pm
Wendy,
I’m glad this helped! The arguments with our spouses are NORMAL. However, it does help when our cup is already full, rather than empty. If you’re emotionally drained and empty (in the “red”), then it makes it even harder when have an argument. You can’t keep your whits about you; you CAN’T feel good about the situation, no matter how hard you try.
Glad it all got worked out! =)
Jennifer
October 29th, 2008 at 5:27 pm
Even though our marriage has been through so much, I feel our relationship bank is in the black. Life has thrown us curve balls from the start and we keep on dodging or catching them for the most part. There have been some terrible hits.
Finding out that our oldest son is Bi-Polar then myself as well. Losing my dad, then finding my health to be very bad. I have Rheumatoid Arthritis, Osteoarthritis (degenerative disc disease), Fibromyalgia, severe back pain…the list continues, somehow we stand together and go through it, sure sometimes we cry or get mad, but we usually let it out and talk, then come up with something to try and better the situation…great post!
October 29th, 2008 at 9:33 pm
@Cortnee- Sorry to hear about your health problems. Make sure that as your body feels bad you keep your mind feeling good. I know a lady who just had her leg and part of her pelvis amputated from cancer. Her attitude is phenomenal! She has a very strong faith that she leans on.
I believe my marriage account is now in the black. For a long time we were heavily in the red. Every remark put us further in debt. It is amazing that with a few changes, we started saving and now have built up an emotional savings account. If feels so good!
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How much money would you have to be paid to eat your pet?
February 7th, 2010 at 10:21 am
Êàê çàðàáîòàòü â èíòåðíåòå…
èíñòðóêöèè ïî çàðàáîòêó â ñåòè…
February 8th, 2010 at 5:29 pm
Ïÿòèçâåçäî÷íûå îòåëè Åãèïòà…
Åãèïåò - æåì÷óæèíà ìèðîâîé êóëüòóðû…
February 10th, 2010 at 8:41 am
I agree, this is a great article.A successful blog needs unique, useful content that interests the readers
February 13th, 2010 at 6:35 pm
Âèäû âåíòèëÿöèîííîãî îáîðóäîâàíèÿ…
Ñèñòåìû âåíòèëÿöèè…
February 14th, 2010 at 4:06 pm
+1. Подписался.
February 15th, 2010 at 9:26 am
Ãîðîä Ñèäå ðàñïîëîæåí íà ïîëóîñòðîâå â 75 êì îò Àíòàëüè…
Îòåëè ãîðîäà Ñèäå…
February 15th, 2010 at 12:19 pm
Прикольная статья, но не все понял 3м
February 15th, 2010 at 2:46 pm
Мне понравилось направление мвсли 5м
February 16th, 2010 at 1:26 am
Интересно было почитать темку 4м
February 16th, 2010 at 4:52 am
Респект автору, неплохая подборочка 4с
February 16th, 2010 at 12:45 pm
Ãîà íàõîäèòñÿ íà çàïàäå Èíäèè…
Ìóçûêà, òàíöû, ïðèêëàäíîå è óñòíîå òâîð÷åñòâî ãëóáîêèìè êîðíÿìè óõîäÿò â äóøó Ãîà, à ðèòìû ïóëüñèðóþò â ñåðäöàõ åãî æèòåëåé…
February 16th, 2010 at 2:55 pm
Понравилась темка только кое-что хотелось бы уточнить 5м
February 17th, 2010 at 12:26 am
Получил эстетическое удовольствие от прочтения 6м
February 17th, 2010 at 12:30 am
Узнао много новенького 5м
February 17th, 2010 at 2:28 am
Понравилась статья, только некоторые моменты хотелось бы уточнить 4п
February 17th, 2010 at 2:31 am
Мне понравилась подборочка 5и
February 17th, 2010 at 4:23 am
Кое что хотелось бы уточнить у автора 5п
February 17th, 2010 at 4:26 am
С удовольствием почитал 4о
February 17th, 2010 at 6:34 am
Отличная подборка, постарался автор 4а
February 17th, 2010 at 6:37 am
Понравилось очень читать 3а
February 17th, 2010 at 8:12 am
Êëàññèôèêàöèÿ è íàçíà÷åíèå êàáåëåé…
Ýëåêòðîêàáåëè…
February 17th, 2010 at 9:17 am
How much money will a team get if they win the Premiership?
February 17th, 2010 at 9:38 am
Отлично провел время читая статьи 4в
February 17th, 2010 at 11:56 am
Очень понравилось читать 4в
February 18th, 2010 at 12:16 am
Понравился материал, читать интересно 3п
February 18th, 2010 at 12:27 am
Неплохая подборочка материала 5а
February 18th, 2010 at 2:37 am
Очень понравился материал, читал с удовольствием 5я
February 18th, 2010 at 2:38 am
Большую работу провел автор, кое-что хотелось бы уточнить 5м
February 18th, 2010 at 4:33 am
Мне понравился стиль, кое-что хотелось бы поподробнее узнать 4ч
February 18th, 2010 at 4:45 am
Мне понравилась подборочка материала 5м
February 18th, 2010 at 7:03 am
Получил удовольствия от прочитанного материала 5а
February 18th, 2010 at 7:08 am
Некоторые моменты хотел уточнить 5а
February 18th, 2010 at 7:50 am
Îòåëè Àëàíèè…
Êóðîðòû Òóðöèè…
February 18th, 2010 at 9:28 am
Даже не думал, что так затянет чтение этого материала 6п
February 18th, 2010 at 9:32 am
Понравился стиль автора, неординарный 5с
February 18th, 2010 at 12:37 pm
Понравилась темка, очень познавательно 5м
February 18th, 2010 at 11:19 pm
Прикольно читать такого плана статьи 4с
February 19th, 2010 at 1:23 am
Мне понравился стиль автора, очень интересно читать 5м
February 19th, 2010 at 3:32 am
Прикольно почитать, но кое-что можно и поподробнее объяснить 5м
February 19th, 2010 at 6:14 am
С нетерпением жду новых материалов 5ч
February 19th, 2010 at 6:19 am
Очень понравился стиль автора, жду ещё 5м
February 19th, 2010 at 8:51 am
Оригинальный текст получился, с удовольствием почитал 6м
February 19th, 2010 at 8:53 am
С удовольствием ознакомился со статейками 5и
February 19th, 2010 at 11:48 am
Мне понравилась тема, только кое-что хотелось бы спросить 6м
February 19th, 2010 at 7:55 pm
Ïèëîðàìû…
Áð¸âíîïèëüíûå äèñêîâûå ñòàíêè…
February 20th, 2010 at 1:33 am
Некоторые вещи даже не знал, спасибо автору 5и
February 20th, 2010 at 5:37 am
С удовольствием почитал статьи, интересно написано 5и
February 20th, 2010 at 8:15 am
С нетерпением жду продолжения 5м
February 20th, 2010 at 12:43 pm
Подписался на продолжение темы, очень интересно 5ч
February 21st, 2010 at 3:43 am
Мне очень понравился подход автора к подбору материала 5м
February 21st, 2010 at 12:29 pm
Ïàðèæ - ñòîëèöà Ôðàíöèè…
Ïðîâåäèòå îòïóñê âî Ôðàíöèè…
February 22nd, 2010 at 2:55 am
Подписался и жду продолжения 5м
February 22nd, 2010 at 1:26 pm
С нетерпением жду продолжения 5и
February 22nd, 2010 at 1:45 pm
Ïðàãà - Ãîðîä ñîòíè øïèëåé…
Ïðàãà - ñòîëèöà ×åõèè…
February 23rd, 2010 at 8:46 am
Êàíàðñêèå îñòðîâà…
Âàëåíñèÿ…
February 24th, 2010 at 12:38 am
Мне очень понравилось читать, хорошая подборка материала 5и
February 24th, 2010 at 4:01 am
С нетерпением жду последующих обновлений в теме 7ь
February 24th, 2010 at 4:14 am
С огромным удовольствием прочитал, очень понравилось 6м
February 24th, 2010 at 6:42 am
Даже не заметил как пролетело время за просмотром 7и
February 24th, 2010 at 6:47 am
Узнал много нового и интересного, спасибо 6т
February 24th, 2010 at 9:47 am
Подписался и жду продолжения темы 6т
February 24th, 2010 at 10:46 am
Ãèäðàâëè÷åñêèå íàñîñû…
Íàñîñû è ãèäðàâëè÷åñêîå îáîðóäîâàíèå…
February 24th, 2010 at 12:05 pm
Прикольно пишете, но есть много вопросов 6ы
February 24th, 2010 at 3:57 pm
Great article . Will definitely apply it to my site
February 25th, 2010 at 1:31 am
С огромным удовольствием просмотрел статьи 6ф
February 25th, 2010 at 2:28 am
Мне очень понравился подход к раскрытию темы 7с
February 25th, 2010 at 3:34 am
С нетерпением жду продолжения темки 8в
February 25th, 2010 at 4:16 am
Некоторые моменты хотелось бы уточнить 6м
February 25th, 2010 at 6:12 am
Некоторые моменты очень хотелось бы обсудить некоторые моменты 6ц
February 25th, 2010 at 6:14 am
Хотел бы обсудить некоторые статьи 3в
February 25th, 2010 at 8:13 am
Постарался атор над подбором темок, респект 6ц
February 25th, 2010 at 8:14 am
Отлично провел время за просмотром статей 7р
February 25th, 2010 at 10:00 am
Понравилась тема, кое что хотелось бы обсудить 5п
February 25th, 2010 at 12:10 pm
Мне очень понравились статьи, актуально 7ы
February 25th, 2010 at 12:14 pm
ïíåâìîàâòîìàòèêà…
Ïðîìûøëåííîå èñïîëüçîâàíèå ïíåâìàòèêè íà÷àëîñü áîëåå ñòà ëåò íàçàä…
February 25th, 2010 at 9:16 pm
he used the same technique in the end and it worked
February 25th, 2010 at 11:59 pm
Мне очень понравилось направление темы 0о
February 26th, 2010 at 12:29 am
Надо побольше таких сайтов 5п
February 26th, 2010 at 2:29 am
Очень понравилась темка 4а
February 26th, 2010 at 4:27 am
С огромным удовольствием просмотрел 7р
February 26th, 2010 at 4:53 am
Получил удовольствие от прочтения 7р
February 26th, 2010 at 6:53 am
Много интересных и актуальных моментов затронуто 6п
February 26th, 2010 at 7:16 am
Кое-что хотелось бы уточнить 7н
February 26th, 2010 at 8:34 am
Ìåêñèêà âîïëîùåíèå èäåàëüíîãî òóðèñòè÷åñêîãî íàïðàâëåíèÿ…
Ìåêñèêà ðàñïîëàãàåò ïî-íàñòîÿùåìó óíèêàëüíûìè âîçìîæíîñòÿìè äëÿ âñåõ âèäîâ òóðèçìà…
February 26th, 2010 at 11:36 am
Получил удовольствие от материала 7а
February 26th, 2010 at 11:31 pm
я думаю: превосходно!! а82ч
February 27th, 2010 at 12:43 am
Мне понравился материал и его компановка 9ш
February 27th, 2010 at 12:45 am
Очень понравилось, только некоторые моменты хотел уточнить 9о
February 27th, 2010 at 2:51 am
Здорово все получилось 9у
February 27th, 2010 at 2:54 am
Очень нравится авторский подход 6г
February 27th, 2010 at 4:59 am
Мне очень понравилось 6е
February 27th, 2010 at 5:02 am
Очень понравился стиль 9ш
February 27th, 2010 at 7:47 am
Хорошо поработал автор 8г
February 27th, 2010 at 7:51 am
Получил удовольствие от подобранного материала 9ш
February 27th, 2010 at 10:55 am
Ìåäèöèíñêèå èçäåëèÿ…
Ìåäèöèíñêàÿ òåõíèêà…
February 28th, 2010 at 12:53 am
С нетерпением жду продолжения 9л
February 28th, 2010 at 2:55 am
Очень оригинальный материальчик попался 0ы
February 28th, 2010 at 4:58 am
×åì òóðèñòîâ ïðèâëåêàåò Èñïàíèÿ…
5 äîâîäîâ çà îòäûõ â Èñïàíèè…
February 28th, 2010 at 10:39 am
Мне понравился стиль и подборочка неплохая 0а
February 28th, 2010 at 11:56 pm
С удовольствием отмечу отличную подборку статей у автора 4п
March 1st, 2010 at 2:03 am
Получил удовольствие от прочитанного материала 3а
March 1st, 2010 at 4:20 am
Мне понравился подобранный материал, зачетно 0п
March 1st, 2010 at 7:07 am
Очень прикольно читать подборочку, респект автору 5п
March 1st, 2010 at 11:31 am
Некоторые моменты только хотелось бы уточнить 8п
March 1st, 2010 at 2:17 pm
Подписался и с нетерпением жду продолжения 9ь
March 2nd, 2010 at 1:19 am
Зачетный сайт, жду новенького материала 8ф
March 2nd, 2010 at 1:22 am
Респект автору, хорошо поработал 9ы
March 2nd, 2010 at 3:57 am
Достаточно полная подборка, молодец автор 5п
March 2nd, 2010 at 3:58 am
Мне очень понравилось, но некоторые моменты хочу уточнить 0ф
March 2nd, 2010 at 6:21 am
Очень хотелось бы увидеть продолжение 7м
March 2nd, 2010 at 6:24 am
Мне понравилось просматривать материал 8т
March 2nd, 2010 at 10:09 am
С удовольствием почитаю продолжение 6я
March 2nd, 2010 at 11:50 am
Îáùàÿ èíôîðìàöèÿ î Òóíèñå…
Äîñòîïðèìå÷àòåëüíîñòè Òóíèñà…
March 2nd, 2010 at 12:51 pm
Очень неплохо подобраны статьи 2и
March 3rd, 2010 at 3:05 am
What kind of money can be made submitting articles to blogs and websites?
March 3rd, 2010 at 4:46 am
Îáùàÿ èíôîðìàöèÿ î ×åðíîãîðèè…
Äîñòîïðèìå÷àòåëüíîñòè ×åðíîãîðèè…
March 4th, 2010 at 8:56 am
Êëàññèôèêàöèÿ ñòàíêîâ è îáîðóäîâàíèÿ ïî ìåòàëëó…
Ìåòàëëîðåæóùèé ñòàíîê…
March 5th, 2010 at 10:54 am
Ïóòåøåñòâèå â Òàéëàíä…
Âåëèêîëåïíûé îòäûõ â Òàéëàíäå…
March 5th, 2010 at 12:52 pm
Очень онравился стиль автора, прикольно читать 9ф
March 6th, 2010 at 5:42 pm
I hope this was a very interesting post thanks for writing it!
March 7th, 2010 at 2:18 am
Óëüòðàçâóêîâîé íåðàçðóøàþùèé êîíòðîëü…
Óëüòðàçâóêîâûå ïðèáîðû…
March 7th, 2010 at 5:38 am
I read a few topics. I respect your work and added blog to favorites.